| Direct |
| Didn't anyone tell you that
you wanted to sleep with me?!?! I thought you knew... |
| Do you know the difference
between my penis and a chicken leg? No??? Well, let's go on
a picnic and find out! |
| Do you sleep on your stomach?
[any answer] Can I? |
| Do you take it up the ass? |
| Excuse me, but would you
like an orally stimulated orgasm? |
| Excuse me, have I fucked
you yet? |
| Excuse me. Do you want to
fuck or should I apologize? |
| Fancy a fuck? |
| Forget that! Playing doctor
is for kids! Let's play gynecologist. |
| Fuck me if I am wrong, but
haven't we met before? |
| Fuck me if I am wrong, but
you want to screw me, don't you? |
| Fuck me if I'm wrong, but
don't you want to kiss me? |
| Fuck me if I'm wrong, but
isn't your name Laura? |
| Go up to a someone at a bar
or a dance and ask her: do you want a fuck... (wait for a
second gauging her reaction)...ing drink? |
| Have you ever kissed a rabbit
between the ears? (Pull your pockets inside out....) Would
you like to? |
| Hey babe, how about a pizza
and a fuck? [Slap] HEY! What's wrong, don't you like pizza? |
| Hey babe, wanna get LUCKY!? |
| Hey Baby! I'd like to use
your thighs as earmuffs. |
| Hey Baby! I'd like to wrap
your legs around my head and wear you like a feed bag! |
| Hey baby, I want to lick
your thighs. |
| Hey baby, let's go make some
babies. |
| Hey baby, wanna go halves
on a bastard? |
| Hey baby, wanna play lion?
OK. You go kneel right there and I'll throw you my meat. |
| Hey baby, what do you say
we go behind that rock and get a little boulder?!? |
| Hey I am a wrestler, let
me take you down. |
| Hey, baby, wanna lock crotches
and swap gravy? |
| Hi, do you want to have my
children? (assuming the answer is 'no'), OK then, can we just
practice? |
| Hi, I'm a tawdry slut looking
for a good time. |
| Hi, I'm not trying to pressure
you, I don't want to have sex without mutual consent; and
by the way, you have my consent. |
| Hi, my name is {name}, I
like peanut butter, wanna fuck? |
| Hi, wanna fuck? (No!) Mind
lying down while I do? |
| I am a magical being, take
off your bra. |
| I love you. I want to marry
you. Now fuck my brains out. |
| I miss my teddy bear. Would
you sleep with me? |
| I must expel some seminal
fluid. May I use your body? |
| I think we have to make love
on the front lawn like crazed weasels NOW! |
| I wanna put my thingy into
your thingy. |
| I want to thank you for [insert
any event here], grab your ankles bitch! |
| I'd like to tie you to a
rafter and fuck you up and down. |
| I'd love to swap bodily fluids
with you. |
| I'm gonna have sex with you
tonight so, you might as well be there. |
| If it's true that we are
what we eat, then I could be you by morning. |
| Let's bypass all the bullshit
and just get naked. |
| Let's go to my place and
do the things I'll tell everyone we did anyway. |
| My name's [your name], but
you can call me "lover." |
| My name's [your name]That's
so you know what to scream. |
| Nice shoes, wanna fuck? |
| Nice socks. Can I try them
on after we have sex? |
| Nice tits. Mind if I feel
them? |
| NOW, BITCH! |
| Oh, you're a bird watcher....(Whip
out your unit and ask) Well, would you take this for a swallow? |
| Sex is a killer...want to
die happy? |
| Since we shouldn't waste
this day and age what you say we use these condoms in my pocket
before they expire. |
| Take an ice cube to the bar,
smash it, and say, "Now that I've broken the ice, will
you sleep with me?" |
| Take off that dress and fuck
my brains out, you cave newt. |
| The only reason I would kick
you out of bed would be to fuck you on the floor. |
| The word of the day is "legs."
Let's go back to my place and spread the word. |
| Wanna fuck like bunnies? |
| We're going to dance to one
song, then go back to my apartment and fuck. |
| What can I do to make you
sleep with me? |
| What do you say we go back
to my room and do some math: Add a bed, subtract our clothes,
divide your legs, and multiply. |
| Your face or MINE!? |
| Your place or mine? |
